Scout's Post 8/14/07

Hey blogger friends. . . sorry for the delay! I wanted to get permission from the creative genius behind this parody. I almost wet my pants when i read this. It is a tune we all wish we could forget and an all-familiar story. Thanks to Mikey Crabb!! Mormons are so weird!

For next time i promise i'll post some answers that i've received recently. i hope it can help you too! Much love, scout

One Week (My Mormon Engagement)
Parody of One Week by Barenaked Ladies


It's been 1 week since she said to me
"You can take me to dinner and a movie"
5 Days since I laughed and joked saying
"Isn't it kinda soon to meet your folks"
3 days since the interview
The bishop took us in and told us what should we do
Yesterday it occurred to me that there are only 2 days til we're getting married

Holy cow what'd I get into
Didn't think it all through
Well this is nothing like I had planned
Our 2nd date going great until she took me to the place
Where she decided it was time to buy a wedding band
Then she went looking for a white dress
I'm in a big mess
I've only known the girl a few days
She's askin if I want kids
And where we'll go live
I hope it's just a crazy girl phase
Wanna take a break but it's too late because she bought the wedding cake
It's my mistake for always fallin for a fast dame
For eternity now I can see it's gonna be just her and me
And I just realized I don't even know her last name

Well all I know is she's a Mormon with a pretty face
And what I figured out from her MySpace
She's the kind of girl that might be worth keeping
Or she could slice off my skull while I'm sleeping
I have a tendency of choosing dates casually
I have a history of dating the insane
It's been 1 week since the very night
When she told me she fell in love at first sight
5 days since she questioned me
How often I'm praying down on my knees
It's been 3 days since we set the date
I thought it was too soon while she thought it was too late
Yesterday it occurred to me that there are only 2 days til I'm getting married

Deeper in debt now is all I'm getting
For going along with a 1 week wedding
Sent the announcements via email
Because it's free mail
I bought my tux at a garage sale
We're gonna live in her mother's basement
So we won't pay rent
And get a discount on utilities
I kinda wish I had my old life
The one with no wife

This is a lesson in humility
It's a great mistake to think they're mild
When the Mormon hormones running wild
Their brains shut off and it's a different world they live in
Then pretty soon they're thinking grooms and wedding tunes
And then it's BOOM! They'll get married to anyone who'll give in

I'm feeling trapped just like that writer guy in Misery
Got the worst case of cold feet in history
I'm the kind of guy that might try to run away
Maybe I'll try to convince her that I'm gay
I have a tendency of acting impulsively
I have a history of changing my mind

It's been 1 week since I had to bail
Changed my number, my address, and my email
5 days since we had the trial
When the judge said she couldn't come within a ¼ mile
3 days since I met a girl
For eternity now I can see it's gonna be just her and me
And I just realized I don't even know her last name

It's been 1 week since I had to bail
Changed my number, my address, and my email
5 days since we had the trial
When the judge said she couldn't come within a ¼ mile
3 days since I met a girl
That helped me to forget the one that made my blood curl
Yesterday it occurred to me that we have just set a date to get married next week