Doc Oc

I recently had a request to pull a "bad date" story out of the archives and share it on this blog. The following is a true story that happened at my last lunch date. The names and location have been disclosed to protect the identity of the red-head involved. May we all learn "what not to do" from my examples.

My lunch date, set-up was Dr. Octopus disguised as a flirtatious redhead. The tall, athletic redhead pleasantly surprised me by asking me about my opinions. We started talking about education and of course I quickly climbed my soapbox and began elaborating on my passion for the subject. This elaboration required full use of my hands for complete clarification. I guess my habit of ‘talking with my hands’ was received as either endearing or annoying because for some unknown reason my carrot-top tablemate reached over the table and tried to grab my hand. My reflex was to quickly pull back but Doc’s tentacle was too quick. He snatched my hand mid-movement and pretended to examine my turquoise ring while stroking my captive fingers. Mortified, I tried to retract but he wouldn’t relinquish my appendage. I got mad and began squirming in my chair. Discovering that Doc Oc had made himself comfortable by entwining his legs between mine and the chair, I pulled my still free feet up and continued the battle cross-legged. He kept getting closer and the closer he got the further away I scooted until my chair backed up against the wall. My bony ankles began to hurt as they pressed against the hard uncomfortable chair, but I was not about to put my feet back on the floor while the octopus was sitting at my table. He looked like a great giant hunched over a tiny table with his octopus tentacles reaching all the way over on my side of the table. Meanwhile I felt like a small, prude church mouse trapped and shivering on my chair.

Needless to say. . . there was not a second date. D this ones for you. Sorry for all of you who were expecting a spiritually uplifting blog. I thought maybe some comic relief would be nice :)