Today I started a new job. While I am so excited about my new adventures, and I definitely think this job is a much better fit (with much better perks) I have to tell you, I'm quite hurt that things ended the way that they did in my old job. I worked as the marketing manager for a certain company we'll call X for several months, and years actually (as I graduated from college I was promoted up). About 4 months ago, things started going sour, and I never could really figure out why, so about 3 months ago, when I started to realize it wasn't going to get better, I started looking for a new job. I would scan Craigslist and Monster for hours on end everyday, begging the Lord for help- and eventually (and timing wise-perfectly) my faith paid off, and the Lord extended his merciful arm yet again and saved me from my personal hell called "my job".
I was so thrilled- I let my boss know well in advance (about a month ago) that I would be leaving and we sat together and made a list of all the things I needed to do before I left. Here's the thing though...even though I finished everything on the list that we agreed upon, she still made my life a living hell for the last two weeks of work. For the last two weeks, no one on the management team (all the people I was supposedly working with) would talk to me. No matter how many emails I sent out, or how many phone calls I made, I was denied responses and return phone calls over and over. People treated me like I had a disease when they were forced to be around me. If they didn't have to be around me, they avoided me at all costs. And even though I finally got the H out of there, I still feel a ton of anxiety. I can't even tell you the last time I've left a job not on good terms. I'm not a bridge burner typically...I always leave saying things like, "If you need anything, feel free to call", or "let me know what I can do to help you out." If I was the boss, I would've probably sent out an email saying something like, "Thanks for everything you've contributed, good luck in the future; let me know how things are going", just because I like to leave things on good terms. Even if I didn't care much for the individual! Notice that in my short blurb, there was no "come back to work for me anytime" or even, "if you need another reference, feel free to put me down". No, but it's still a short smooth over. I sent her about 10 emails, saying thank you again and again for all the of experience and opportunities she gave me, hoping to provoke any type of reaction such as, "you're welcome, good luck", and yet- no response. Because there wasn't even a "smell you later", I feel really burned...even though I was the one that chose to leave. I'm so bothered by this whole thing...which only serves to reinforce in me the desire to be kind to others.
I don't have a huge pedestal to climb tonight- I just want to say...be kind, even to those you don't like. I seriously don't know what I did that was so offensive to my boss; but whatever I did, I did it in ignorance. I would never try to tick off the boss! So many times we offend others accidentally- as the person that's offended sometimes this is hard to remember, esp in the moment. But usually most of us don't do it on purpose. So cut someone a break! Remember how humbling it can be when someone else extends some mercy or kindness to you when you don't always deserve it??? Whether you are too nice, or not nice enough, your attitude and actions towards others goes a long way. Remember that and be kind to someone today. (Like the rhyme, eh???)
Word.
G
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Beam Me Up and Stuff
Tonight i went to an interfaith dialogue. The night's discussion: theological differences in the Nature of God between Mormons and Evangelicals. Fascinating. The hosting church got ambushed with flack and animosity from their Christian peers on a popular LA Christian radio program last week. Not-so-fascinating. Why can't we all just get along? (BL quotes Shakespeare, G quotes GBH- and yes, i quote Rodney King.)
I will also quote my wise friend KK; tonight he said, "God did not call us intelligent, He called us intelligences." I thought that was really profound, and conclusive of our night. My Evangelical neighbors believed differently than i do on most of the subjects we discussed. In trying to teach them about my theology and answer their questions, i had to approach ideas i was taught in primary from a different angle. I also had to dig into the basic doctrine that i had taught simply as a missionary in a new attitude. I learned that even though i thought i knew the doctrine in and out, up and down. . . there is more to learn. Even about the basics.
This is why i am glad i am a learning, and growing intelligence. Especially growing by absorbing the gospel. I am grateful for experiences that make me question what i believe so that i can become even stronger. Why should I rely on the doctrines of men and of popular theories to guide me? I understand the nature of God, the Father of my intelligence, and i know that i can go directly to Him as THE source of light and knowledge.
If you've never questioned what you believe- i suggest you start.
. . . But maybe don't start at my friend's church. I say this because I was invited to their "not boring church service"and their current services series is "How the Bible relates to Star Wars." Hmmmmm. .. entertaining? yes. educating for intelligences? uh, i don't think so.
I will also quote my wise friend KK; tonight he said, "God did not call us intelligent, He called us intelligences." I thought that was really profound, and conclusive of our night. My Evangelical neighbors believed differently than i do on most of the subjects we discussed. In trying to teach them about my theology and answer their questions, i had to approach ideas i was taught in primary from a different angle. I also had to dig into the basic doctrine that i had taught simply as a missionary in a new attitude. I learned that even though i thought i knew the doctrine in and out, up and down. . . there is more to learn. Even about the basics.
This is why i am glad i am a learning, and growing intelligence. Especially growing by absorbing the gospel. I am grateful for experiences that make me question what i believe so that i can become even stronger. Why should I rely on the doctrines of men and of popular theories to guide me? I understand the nature of God, the Father of my intelligence, and i know that i can go directly to Him as THE source of light and knowledge.
If you've never questioned what you believe- i suggest you start.
. . . But maybe don't start at my friend's church. I say this because I was invited to their "not boring church service"and their current services series is "How the Bible relates to Star Wars." Hmmmmm. .. entertaining? yes. educating for intelligences? uh, i don't think so.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
One does not simply ROCK into Mordor
The Great Dane--Hamlet, not Scooby Doo--once asked rhetorically, "To be or not to be: that is the question ..." He also went on to spout off platitudes about this and that and about whether it's more noble to suffer outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles. Now, the interesting point of this bit of hullabaloo isn't seeing Mel Gibson with a Caesar haircut, nor is it the morbid fact that he's conversing all of this to a skull. No, the main point that ole Mad Max is trying to get across, through the pen of Bill Shakespeare, is that ultimately we have the choice of "being" or of "not being."
And not to beat the free agency topic into a lifeless pulp (of unrecognizable manna from heaven), but the truest act we'll ever see on the stage of life is us choosing. Many of you have probably read the Alchemist or another similarly penned tale about finding your true destiny. And it--or they--makes a great point: That favorability helps us to find our treasure. Or, to clarify things a bit further, we each have unique talents and gifts--facilities that come easily for us--and these strengths and innate abilities steer us toward the destination that will make us most happy.
So gird up your loins--literally, if you're into contact sports--and choose to use your agency and start making an impact. But be patient. It takes time.
And if you can't currently shred like Mister Ed Halen, don't worry. It doesn't mean you can't put in the practice and learn. Just remember to be attentive to what comes natural to you and start developing those skills first.
Then you can worry about tapping that axe later.
And not to beat the free agency topic into a lifeless pulp (of unrecognizable manna from heaven), but the truest act we'll ever see on the stage of life is us choosing. Many of you have probably read the Alchemist or another similarly penned tale about finding your true destiny. And it--or they--makes a great point: That favorability helps us to find our treasure. Or, to clarify things a bit further, we each have unique talents and gifts--facilities that come easily for us--and these strengths and innate abilities steer us toward the destination that will make us most happy.
So gird up your loins--literally, if you're into contact sports--and choose to use your agency and start making an impact. But be patient. It takes time.
And if you can't currently shred like Mister Ed Halen, don't worry. It doesn't mean you can't put in the practice and learn. Just remember to be attentive to what comes natural to you and start developing those skills first.
Then you can worry about tapping that axe later.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Clean it up, yo.
Well, nothing new and super exciting has happened in the last two days, since my last entry.
I have one small thing to say- and then I will quit, because everything I seem to be trying to write tonight is just not coming out the way I want. So it will be short and sweet tonight.
I just want to say- be good ya'll. It's a constant struggle, I know. But we have to step it up. So many of my friends are struggling with this right now. I know the struggle personally as well. A little too well. But it's never going to be over as long as we're here; as long as we're alive. So make the commitment to God and step it up! Be good- in President Hinckley's words...be clean. Be true, be honest. Be strong. Be yourself- but be good.
That's it. I'm not going to preach all night on something I need to work on too. The only reason I'm saying anything at all is because I have so many friends that tell me that they are struggling. They aren't happy; they aren't fulfilled. It's hard. But there are so many of us out there that are struggling right next to you, and you just don't know it 'cause we don't always talk about it. It takes time, but you can change things in your life if you need to. It takes hard work and alot of effort...and it basically has to be something that you have to put at the fore-front of your mind, but you can be better, you know it, I know it, we all know it, and besides, it'll be worth it. You will be happier, and you will find peace in your life. Your life maybe totally chaotic, and you may be going through some serious struggles, but I can tell you from personal experience, that when you are living righteously, you will have a confidence within yourself that cannot be gained in any other way. I seriously can't explain it, because I've just begun to understand this concept recently in my own life. The Lord takes care of his children. He will take care of you. He loves you.
Be good, you can do it.
Peace out-
G
I have one small thing to say- and then I will quit, because everything I seem to be trying to write tonight is just not coming out the way I want. So it will be short and sweet tonight.
I just want to say- be good ya'll. It's a constant struggle, I know. But we have to step it up. So many of my friends are struggling with this right now. I know the struggle personally as well. A little too well. But it's never going to be over as long as we're here; as long as we're alive. So make the commitment to God and step it up! Be good- in President Hinckley's words...be clean. Be true, be honest. Be strong. Be yourself- but be good.
That's it. I'm not going to preach all night on something I need to work on too. The only reason I'm saying anything at all is because I have so many friends that tell me that they are struggling. They aren't happy; they aren't fulfilled. It's hard. But there are so many of us out there that are struggling right next to you, and you just don't know it 'cause we don't always talk about it. It takes time, but you can change things in your life if you need to. It takes hard work and alot of effort...and it basically has to be something that you have to put at the fore-front of your mind, but you can be better, you know it, I know it, we all know it, and besides, it'll be worth it. You will be happier, and you will find peace in your life. Your life maybe totally chaotic, and you may be going through some serious struggles, but I can tell you from personal experience, that when you are living righteously, you will have a confidence within yourself that cannot be gained in any other way. I seriously can't explain it, because I've just begun to understand this concept recently in my own life. The Lord takes care of his children. He will take care of you. He loves you.
Be good, you can do it.
Peace out-
G
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Work from home and make $10,000 in two minutes by reading this blog...
So I was stuck yet again at another dessert party tonight. A new friend I met recently called and left a voicemail on my cell, claiming she had a boy to hook me up with, and "he's hot". She's closer to my age than most of the girls around here, so I figured it was worth checking out, simply based off of age. Of course, this was my first mistake. The guy wasn't bad looking, but after 5 minutes of ignoring me (and whispering in her ear the whole time), I grew bored and moved on to other options. It was obvious to me that whatever hooking up was going to happen tonight, I wasn't going to be involved. So, I awkwardly went and made small talk with the first guy who's head swiveled in my direction. "Hi, I'm told I need a husband, what's your name..."
After another few awkward moments of small talk with a random stranger, I abandoned my husband search and found myself in a smaller, more intimate gaggle of girls, discussing juice. Not juice- like apple juice- juice as in...juicy gossip. Only it's not always gossip, but that's besides the point, it's hard to explain...anyway, back to my story...My friend was having issues with an ex. Us listeners did our best to consol and sympathize...we all know how ex's can be...and I got to thinking...I am so thankful for friends that know and understand my "situation". It sounds funny, almost as if it's a handicap to be single, but for those of you out there who are single, I know you know what I'm talking about. I think sometimes in the LDS church it's hard because everyone is waiting and/or pressuring us to get married. Our parents are holding their breaths. Everyone we know is praying for us. Randoms that we don't even know well are trying to set us up with their hair-dressers, or their handsome nephew who's also painfully single. Cousins and idiots alike ask mercilessly why we're not married yet, as they give each other side glances and bounce their babies on their knees. Everyone (except in my case, my dear mother) has us convinced that something must be wrong with us because we haven't taken the plunge yet. Even dates have asked me, "are you divorced or something? Why are you so old and not married yet?" A friend asked me tonight as we were driving up the canyon, "Would you really tell me if something was wrong with me? Cause I don't understand why I'm not married..." None of us understand! He's fabulous, I don't understand why he's not married either. He wouldn't be my friend if he was weird! And yet, here we are, all of us, struggling to make it until the blessed day. Most of us are in a panic-ridden state, worried that somehow we've either missed the boat or worse, the boat will never come. Well, I'm here to tell you something tonight...You're not alone, and you're not handicapped because you're single.
The good news is, no one gets away from struggling. No one. Have you ever been to Liberty Jail? Then you know that Joseph Smith was locked in a freezing dungeon for like, 4 months or something, and couldn't even stand up straight. The ceiling was 6' high and he was 6'1 and Hyrum was 6'3. They got scraps and leftover food from the guards that was so bad that they said only a starving lunatic would eat it. I've even read somewhere once that once or twice the guards would feed them human flesh, slaves, that were killed. (I don't know if that's true, I just read it somewhere, but I wouldn't be surprised) There was no heat, it was winter, and the windows didn't have glass on them. The windows faced North and South, and the sun shines East and West, so obviously they never got real sunshine, or direct warmth from the sun...but the wind blows north and south...so the wind blew straight through their little death hole. No shower for 4 MONTHS!!!!! Joseph was with his friends and brother, in a dungeon, and that winter was the coldest winter ever...the only one ever recorded to have had the Mississippi River completely freeze over (which in turn was a blessing in disguise because then the saints could actually cross it). But with no heat...nothing but straw to sleep on...no shower...you know those boys struggled.
And they're not the only ones who struggled. The scriptures are filled with prophets who were stoned, or beaten, or jailed, or burned at the stake, or thrown into a firey furnace to be burned, etc etc. One of my favorite scriptures on faith and endurance comes in Hebrews, chapter 11, and in verses 35-38 the scriptures report that the prophets were, "...tortured, not accepting deliverance; that they might obtain a better resurrection; (36) And others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea, moreover of bonds and imprisonement: (37) They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword; they wandered about in sheepskins and goat skins; being destitute, afflicted, tormented (38)...they wandered in deserts, and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth..."
Now obviously, our struggle is not half of their struggle. These people were tested in ways that most of us will never know. But that does not diminish our struggle; being single in a culture that pushes marriage and family to the brink of insanity. Let me remind you of something- which I'm sure you're aware of, but I sometimes forget...you are NOT inadequate just because you're not married. Don't let this struggle get the best of you!! There are millions of us out there, trying to cling together; trying to hold on with faith and courage in our hearts. My dear friend from the party tonight was heartbroken...her comment was something like... "Well, I guess I'll just keep sittin around, waiting for whatever..." Believe it or not, we're still being blessed! Heavenly Father is still aware of us, and still believing in us, and still trying to help us grow. He knows your struggle as well as He knows mine. It may not be the way we envisioned things when we were young, but how many blessings do you have now that you wouldn't have received if you were married??? Seriously, think about it for a second; how many wonderful things have happened in your life because you AREN'T married? I can give you an example from my life- but then I have to end this entry I swear or I'll have to start charging. I am so grateful that I have been single for the last 29 years, because for one thing- I have finished my education, and am gaining invaluable experience in a field that I love. Even though it has been hard, I know I would never have finished school if I'd had another option. I've had opportunities to travel and go places that I never would have had otherwise. My life has been full- full of opportunity and learning and growth. And I wouldn't take any of it back to have been married and pregnant at nineteen. (No offense to those that did decide to do that) The guy that I would've married at 21...I still cringe if I think about it. And I know soo many married couples that struggle- just because they've gotten married doesn't mean their lives are bliss you know. I think sometimes we forget that, when we're on this side of the fence. I know everyone out there reading this knows someone who got married, only to have their spouse cheat, and/or leave them in ruins. Now who wants to trade places...
So now it's your turn. Look at yourself in the mirror today and finish this sentence..."I am so grateful that I have been single for x this long because..." and mean it! Why are you thankful that you're single? What invaluable things have happened to you that couldn't've happened if you were holed up in a marriage somewhere???? Seriously, think about it, and count your many blessings today...
For those of you who made it to the end of this entry- much love. :)
G
After another few awkward moments of small talk with a random stranger, I abandoned my husband search and found myself in a smaller, more intimate gaggle of girls, discussing juice. Not juice- like apple juice- juice as in...juicy gossip. Only it's not always gossip, but that's besides the point, it's hard to explain...anyway, back to my story...My friend was having issues with an ex. Us listeners did our best to consol and sympathize...we all know how ex's can be...and I got to thinking...I am so thankful for friends that know and understand my "situation". It sounds funny, almost as if it's a handicap to be single, but for those of you out there who are single, I know you know what I'm talking about. I think sometimes in the LDS church it's hard because everyone is waiting and/or pressuring us to get married. Our parents are holding their breaths. Everyone we know is praying for us. Randoms that we don't even know well are trying to set us up with their hair-dressers, or their handsome nephew who's also painfully single. Cousins and idiots alike ask mercilessly why we're not married yet, as they give each other side glances and bounce their babies on their knees. Everyone (except in my case, my dear mother) has us convinced that something must be wrong with us because we haven't taken the plunge yet. Even dates have asked me, "are you divorced or something? Why are you so old and not married yet?" A friend asked me tonight as we were driving up the canyon, "Would you really tell me if something was wrong with me? Cause I don't understand why I'm not married..." None of us understand! He's fabulous, I don't understand why he's not married either. He wouldn't be my friend if he was weird! And yet, here we are, all of us, struggling to make it until the blessed day. Most of us are in a panic-ridden state, worried that somehow we've either missed the boat or worse, the boat will never come. Well, I'm here to tell you something tonight...You're not alone, and you're not handicapped because you're single.
The good news is, no one gets away from struggling. No one. Have you ever been to Liberty Jail? Then you know that Joseph Smith was locked in a freezing dungeon for like, 4 months or something, and couldn't even stand up straight. The ceiling was 6' high and he was 6'1 and Hyrum was 6'3. They got scraps and leftover food from the guards that was so bad that they said only a starving lunatic would eat it. I've even read somewhere once that once or twice the guards would feed them human flesh, slaves, that were killed. (I don't know if that's true, I just read it somewhere, but I wouldn't be surprised) There was no heat, it was winter, and the windows didn't have glass on them. The windows faced North and South, and the sun shines East and West, so obviously they never got real sunshine, or direct warmth from the sun...but the wind blows north and south...so the wind blew straight through their little death hole. No shower for 4 MONTHS!!!!! Joseph was with his friends and brother, in a dungeon, and that winter was the coldest winter ever...the only one ever recorded to have had the Mississippi River completely freeze over (which in turn was a blessing in disguise because then the saints could actually cross it). But with no heat...nothing but straw to sleep on...no shower...you know those boys struggled.
And they're not the only ones who struggled. The scriptures are filled with prophets who were stoned, or beaten, or jailed, or burned at the stake, or thrown into a firey furnace to be burned, etc etc. One of my favorite scriptures on faith and endurance comes in Hebrews, chapter 11, and in verses 35-38 the scriptures report that the prophets were, "...tortured, not accepting deliverance; that they might obtain a better resurrection; (36) And others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea, moreover of bonds and imprisonement: (37) They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword; they wandered about in sheepskins and goat skins; being destitute, afflicted, tormented (38)...they wandered in deserts, and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth..."
Now obviously, our struggle is not half of their struggle. These people were tested in ways that most of us will never know. But that does not diminish our struggle; being single in a culture that pushes marriage and family to the brink of insanity. Let me remind you of something- which I'm sure you're aware of, but I sometimes forget...you are NOT inadequate just because you're not married. Don't let this struggle get the best of you!! There are millions of us out there, trying to cling together; trying to hold on with faith and courage in our hearts. My dear friend from the party tonight was heartbroken...her comment was something like... "Well, I guess I'll just keep sittin around, waiting for whatever..." Believe it or not, we're still being blessed! Heavenly Father is still aware of us, and still believing in us, and still trying to help us grow. He knows your struggle as well as He knows mine. It may not be the way we envisioned things when we were young, but how many blessings do you have now that you wouldn't have received if you were married??? Seriously, think about it for a second; how many wonderful things have happened in your life because you AREN'T married? I can give you an example from my life- but then I have to end this entry I swear or I'll have to start charging. I am so grateful that I have been single for the last 29 years, because for one thing- I have finished my education, and am gaining invaluable experience in a field that I love. Even though it has been hard, I know I would never have finished school if I'd had another option. I've had opportunities to travel and go places that I never would have had otherwise. My life has been full- full of opportunity and learning and growth. And I wouldn't take any of it back to have been married and pregnant at nineteen. (No offense to those that did decide to do that) The guy that I would've married at 21...I still cringe if I think about it. And I know soo many married couples that struggle- just because they've gotten married doesn't mean their lives are bliss you know. I think sometimes we forget that, when we're on this side of the fence. I know everyone out there reading this knows someone who got married, only to have their spouse cheat, and/or leave them in ruins. Now who wants to trade places...
So now it's your turn. Look at yourself in the mirror today and finish this sentence..."I am so grateful that I have been single for x this long because..." and mean it! Why are you thankful that you're single? What invaluable things have happened to you that couldn't've happened if you were holed up in a marriage somewhere???? Seriously, think about it, and count your many blessings today...
For those of you who made it to the end of this entry- much love. :)
G
Saturday, August 25, 2007
In a perfect world Money grew on Trees
Picture this; your getting ready to go to work, eat lunch, go shopping, pay tuition, or whatever it is you're doing...and you look inside your wallet to find NO money. Immediately you check your account and there's little to nothing in there. You start to go into panic mode, wondering what your going to do, and it finally it hits you dead on the nose...you walk outside to find tons of green. You walk up to any tree and start grabbing money, $1's, $5's, $100's. Knowing that no matter how much you take, the tree will always reproduce more, you relax...Ha ha! Wouldn't this meet every ones financial needs? I sure know it would meet mine and solve all my financial problems. Too bad that we have to work for our money, some maybe born into money, but for the majority of the population, we have to slave and no matter how hard we work for our money, it just doesn't ever seem to be enough. We're always taught that in order to make decent money one needs to get an education but, in order to get enrolled in classes, you need money, and an education these days is not cheap. Fortunately i have been lucky, my dad payed for my schooling. According to a BBC News article, "6 out of 10 single people said they have at some point in their life suffered a financial crisis." I know that I myself have not been in a "financial crisis" quite yet, but I do have debt and know what it's like to have most of, if not all of my money go to bills. If it's not paying my credit cards (dang that Nordstrom), rent, car payment/insurance, mortgage etc, it always goes to something else and I just can't seem to get ahead. And it doesn't help that I LOVE to shop, you don't understand the feeling I get when I buy something new... mmm.. its awesome, well to some degree :)
We're taught at a young age that the women stay home and raise their children while the husband is out working providing for his family. I have always known that the role the men play is huge but haven't really grasped what it would feel like to be the main supporter until I hit my mid 20's. I'm at the point in my life where I want to get married and have my own family, and I certainly don't want to enter in a marriage with debt, so I'm trying my hardest to get out of debt and fast. It seems though, that no matter how hard I try, or how many payments I make, I just don't make enough to even support myself; which isn't good. Now, if I'm feeling like this, can you imagine just how a man must feel knowing what he has to do someday? Being the main provider can be very rewarding I'm sure, but it's also stressful; not being able to pay all the bills, not being able to buy that fancy house, or even afford a family trip...it could be very discouraging. Now granted, I'm not of the male gender, and don't have to worry about being the main provider, but as of right now being 25 is hard, especially providing for myself. I have wants and needs for myself and it's so hard to see others who can just go out and buy, buy, buy when I know I have BILLS. I come from a family that has always been well off and where money isn't an issue, but when I became an adult my dad told me that since I got into debt, it's my responsibility to get out of it. At times I want to just scream at him for not helping me, but that would be too easy; and besides, it's not his mess its mine. I need to know what its like to get into debt, and how it feels to get myself out without any help.
I hope that in my entry I'm able to convey that, to anyone who is having financial issues, you're not the only one. If you're not feeling like you don't make enough, you're not the only one. I will be the first to admit that I have these feelings at times and it's not easy. If life was easy then we'd all be writing about what we can do to mess up, right? As long as our intentions are good, the Man upstairs will guide us the rest of the way. Life isn't fair, life isn't easy, but its what we do and how we deal with it that makes us appreciate what we have.
Courtesy of Ash
We're taught at a young age that the women stay home and raise their children while the husband is out working providing for his family. I have always known that the role the men play is huge but haven't really grasped what it would feel like to be the main supporter until I hit my mid 20's. I'm at the point in my life where I want to get married and have my own family, and I certainly don't want to enter in a marriage with debt, so I'm trying my hardest to get out of debt and fast. It seems though, that no matter how hard I try, or how many payments I make, I just don't make enough to even support myself; which isn't good. Now, if I'm feeling like this, can you imagine just how a man must feel knowing what he has to do someday? Being the main provider can be very rewarding I'm sure, but it's also stressful; not being able to pay all the bills, not being able to buy that fancy house, or even afford a family trip...it could be very discouraging. Now granted, I'm not of the male gender, and don't have to worry about being the main provider, but as of right now being 25 is hard, especially providing for myself. I have wants and needs for myself and it's so hard to see others who can just go out and buy, buy, buy when I know I have BILLS. I come from a family that has always been well off and where money isn't an issue, but when I became an adult my dad told me that since I got into debt, it's my responsibility to get out of it. At times I want to just scream at him for not helping me, but that would be too easy; and besides, it's not his mess its mine. I need to know what its like to get into debt, and how it feels to get myself out without any help.
I hope that in my entry I'm able to convey that, to anyone who is having financial issues, you're not the only one. If you're not feeling like you don't make enough, you're not the only one. I will be the first to admit that I have these feelings at times and it's not easy. If life was easy then we'd all be writing about what we can do to mess up, right? As long as our intentions are good, the Man upstairs will guide us the rest of the way. Life isn't fair, life isn't easy, but its what we do and how we deal with it that makes us appreciate what we have.
Courtesy of Ash
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Doc Oc
I recently had a request to pull a "bad date" story out of the archives and share it on this blog. The following is a true story that happened at my last lunch date. The names and location have been disclosed to protect the identity of the red-head involved. May we all learn "what not to do" from my examples.
My lunch date, set-up was Dr. Octopus disguised as a flirtatious redhead. The tall, athletic redhead pleasantly surprised me by asking me about my opinions. We started talking about education and of course I quickly climbed my soapbox and began elaborating on my passion for the subject. This elaboration required full use of my hands for complete clarification. I guess my habit of ‘talking with my hands’ was received as either endearing or annoying because for some unknown reason my carrot-top tablemate reached over the table and tried to grab my hand. My reflex was to quickly pull back but Doc’s tentacle was too quick. He snatched my hand mid-movement and pretended to examine my turquoise ring while stroking my captive fingers. Mortified, I tried to retract but he wouldn’t relinquish my appendage. I got mad and began squirming in my chair. Discovering that Doc Oc had made himself comfortable by entwining his legs between mine and the chair, I pulled my still free feet up and continued the battle cross-legged. He kept getting closer and the closer he got the further away I scooted until my chair backed up against the wall. My bony ankles began to hurt as they pressed against the hard uncomfortable chair, but I was not about to put my feet back on the floor while the octopus was sitting at my table. He looked like a great giant hunched over a tiny table with his octopus tentacles reaching all the way over on my side of the table. Meanwhile I felt like a small, prude church mouse trapped and shivering on my chair.
Needless to say. . . there was not a second date. D this ones for you. Sorry for all of you who were expecting a spiritually uplifting blog. I thought maybe some comic relief would be nice :)
My lunch date, set-up was Dr. Octopus disguised as a flirtatious redhead. The tall, athletic redhead pleasantly surprised me by asking me about my opinions. We started talking about education and of course I quickly climbed my soapbox and began elaborating on my passion for the subject. This elaboration required full use of my hands for complete clarification. I guess my habit of ‘talking with my hands’ was received as either endearing or annoying because for some unknown reason my carrot-top tablemate reached over the table and tried to grab my hand. My reflex was to quickly pull back but Doc’s tentacle was too quick. He snatched my hand mid-movement and pretended to examine my turquoise ring while stroking my captive fingers. Mortified, I tried to retract but he wouldn’t relinquish my appendage. I got mad and began squirming in my chair. Discovering that Doc Oc had made himself comfortable by entwining his legs between mine and the chair, I pulled my still free feet up and continued the battle cross-legged. He kept getting closer and the closer he got the further away I scooted until my chair backed up against the wall. My bony ankles began to hurt as they pressed against the hard uncomfortable chair, but I was not about to put my feet back on the floor while the octopus was sitting at my table. He looked like a great giant hunched over a tiny table with his octopus tentacles reaching all the way over on my side of the table. Meanwhile I felt like a small, prude church mouse trapped and shivering on my chair.
Needless to say. . . there was not a second date. D this ones for you. Sorry for all of you who were expecting a spiritually uplifting blog. I thought maybe some comic relief would be nice :)
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Why do I have to wait while that guy who doesn't brush his teeth gets to marry that girls who is HOT & RICH!
Topic: Oh dating...how I hate it with every fiber of my being, unless I like the girl and she likes me back. Under those circumstances it can be quite fun. Things like cute text messages, funny pictures, laughing like a little sissy, and mix tapes get involved. Sometime after that love becomes real, deeper, and more intense, so I’ve heard.
Tangent: I have been diagnosed with environmentally induced ADHD. I contracted this disease due to the many hours of my life I’ve spend under the benches in sacrament meeting drawing, looking for cheerios, or just trying not to kill myself due to the boredom I suffered during church. You should see the looks I get at the singles ward. “Who’s this 30 year old bald guy on the floor with the coloring book?” Well, screw you for judging me! I’ve been prescribed a cell phone with games. That has helped keep me in my seat, unless I get the high score on Bejeweled. Then I just get strange looks for cheering. You’d think people of my same faith would be happy for my accomplishments.
Editorial Notice: Due to my condition I will label my entries with “Topic”, “Tangent” or some other BOLD note at the first of the paragraph so you can read only the parts you’d like or read it all. I really don’t care as long as at some point in time you send me money.
Topic: I’ve determined that I’m going to use my “blog estate” here for absolute truths and real life experiences (I might flirt with some 'trick here & there). This isn’t a place for lies and untruths so I’m just going to tell it to you straight. Kind of like Dr. Laura without the self-righteous, down speaking, and underlying judgement (unless it's funny).
Tangent: Is Dr. Laura from Utah County? (Everyone from Utah County...SHUT-UP! You did this to yourselves by being so lame!)
Topic: 1) There isn’t an guaranteed a+b=c formula to rid yourself of the LDS singles scene. Everyone’s journey is going to be different. Here is a little hint to why...IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THAT WAY!
You need to accept it. If you can't accept it then leave. I’ve seen people take the leap from different spiritual, educational, financial, emotional, and moral stages in life. I’m not saying that all of these people have had happy or successful marriages. I’m just saying that I’ve seen it happen...DAWWG.
Tangent: People who say DAWWG and really mean it should be man smacked-same with the guys who pop their collars, moms who dress like their teenagers, and emo dudes. Do you think emo guys' little sisters get pissed when their brother wears their pants? I do.
Topic: When I find out people close to me are getting married I’m happy, I congratulate them. Sometimes cry because they are going to make the freakiest looking children I’ve ever imagined. Sometimes I’m angry because the marriage will be over in less then 24 months, I’m good friends with one, and I didn’t become a divorce lawyer! That’s a guaranteed client! Most of all I’m relieved because their marriage is not my decision, choice, or problem (unless they have a 2 day reception over Labor Day weekend, robbing you of your vacation! Todd! I can’t wait to ruin one of your vacations.)...so to all those aspiring Relief Society Presidents...DON'T GET INVOLVED.
We have all been through ups and downs. We’ve all had similar relationship woes in one form or another. Anyone can find sufficient excuses, self pity, doubt, and question why. I know that I did. I remember it vividly. I had just found out that someone I had been close to over a period of two years wasn’t who they said they were. I’d hoped for a future with this person but it just didn’t work out that way. In my pain and hurting I turned to the Lord. I’ve never felt more love and direction then during these few months. At this time I began asking why and when.
In the introduction of Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis, he explains the purpose of the book was to bring someone to Christ. He says that once someone has accepted Christ the religion or denomination they join thereafter, is up to them. He compares Christianity to a “hall” and the different “rooms” off of the hall to the various religions of Christianity. The journey begins in the “hall” but ultimate fulfillment and joy is found within one of the “rooms”. He explains that some people, once in the "hall" quickly identify and enter a room while others are “made to wait”. He doesn’t know why people are “made to wait” but councils that the wait is for their good and they are to pray more and remain diligent, hoping for more direction & light. He warns against “camping” or making yourself comfortable. He finished this analogy by justifying the additional wait time experienced by some by saying "once those who are made to wait finally enter into a room, they will find more joy, happiness, & fulfillment [then those who aren't made to wait].
While driving alone on I-15 somewhere between St. George & Las Vegas, I got my answer as to why. I’m still waiting for when...and her....
Tangent: I have been diagnosed with environmentally induced ADHD. I contracted this disease due to the many hours of my life I’ve spend under the benches in sacrament meeting drawing, looking for cheerios, or just trying not to kill myself due to the boredom I suffered during church. You should see the looks I get at the singles ward. “Who’s this 30 year old bald guy on the floor with the coloring book?” Well, screw you for judging me! I’ve been prescribed a cell phone with games. That has helped keep me in my seat, unless I get the high score on Bejeweled. Then I just get strange looks for cheering. You’d think people of my same faith would be happy for my accomplishments.
Editorial Notice: Due to my condition I will label my entries with “Topic”, “Tangent” or some other BOLD note at the first of the paragraph so you can read only the parts you’d like or read it all. I really don’t care as long as at some point in time you send me money.
Topic: I’ve determined that I’m going to use my “blog estate” here for absolute truths and real life experiences (I might flirt with some 'trick here & there). This isn’t a place for lies and untruths so I’m just going to tell it to you straight. Kind of like Dr. Laura without the self-righteous, down speaking, and underlying judgement (unless it's funny).
Tangent: Is Dr. Laura from Utah County? (Everyone from Utah County...SHUT-UP! You did this to yourselves by being so lame!)
Topic: 1) There isn’t an guaranteed a+b=c formula to rid yourself of the LDS singles scene. Everyone’s journey is going to be different. Here is a little hint to why...IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THAT WAY!
You need to accept it. If you can't accept it then leave. I’ve seen people take the leap from different spiritual, educational, financial, emotional, and moral stages in life. I’m not saying that all of these people have had happy or successful marriages. I’m just saying that I’ve seen it happen...DAWWG.
Tangent: People who say DAWWG and really mean it should be man smacked-same with the guys who pop their collars, moms who dress like their teenagers, and emo dudes. Do you think emo guys' little sisters get pissed when their brother wears their pants? I do.
Topic: When I find out people close to me are getting married I’m happy, I congratulate them. Sometimes cry because they are going to make the freakiest looking children I’ve ever imagined. Sometimes I’m angry because the marriage will be over in less then 24 months, I’m good friends with one, and I didn’t become a divorce lawyer! That’s a guaranteed client! Most of all I’m relieved because their marriage is not my decision, choice, or problem (unless they have a 2 day reception over Labor Day weekend, robbing you of your vacation! Todd! I can’t wait to ruin one of your vacations.)...so to all those aspiring Relief Society Presidents...DON'T GET INVOLVED.
We have all been through ups and downs. We’ve all had similar relationship woes in one form or another. Anyone can find sufficient excuses, self pity, doubt, and question why. I know that I did. I remember it vividly. I had just found out that someone I had been close to over a period of two years wasn’t who they said they were. I’d hoped for a future with this person but it just didn’t work out that way. In my pain and hurting I turned to the Lord. I’ve never felt more love and direction then during these few months. At this time I began asking why and when.
In the introduction of Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis, he explains the purpose of the book was to bring someone to Christ. He says that once someone has accepted Christ the religion or denomination they join thereafter, is up to them. He compares Christianity to a “hall” and the different “rooms” off of the hall to the various religions of Christianity. The journey begins in the “hall” but ultimate fulfillment and joy is found within one of the “rooms”. He explains that some people, once in the "hall" quickly identify and enter a room while others are “made to wait”. He doesn’t know why people are “made to wait” but councils that the wait is for their good and they are to pray more and remain diligent, hoping for more direction & light. He warns against “camping” or making yourself comfortable. He finished this analogy by justifying the additional wait time experienced by some by saying "once those who are made to wait finally enter into a room, they will find more joy, happiness, & fulfillment [then those who aren't made to wait].
While driving alone on I-15 somewhere between St. George & Las Vegas, I got my answer as to why. I’m still waiting for when...and her....
Tangent: Jessica Alba or Rachel McAdams
Knot-tying isn't only for Eagle Scouts
"There's no such thing as a 'Hollywood Romance' in marriage. So don't plan on it."
(A dictum routinely mentioned by your average well-meaning, but utterly pedestrian Gospel Doctrine teacher. You know, the same type who's never understood the importance of sarcasm or gelato.)
Of all the tall tales I've ever heard in my life-which is a substantial number since I come from a long line of spooked prospectors, toothless hobos and tittle-tattle relief society members-this cock-and-bull yarn tops them all. If it was prefaced by something about the Easter Bunny, Saint Nick and affordable health care, I might've let it fly, but since it was preached in a manner not so different from those fiery, sweaty religious sermons delivered at spirited tent-covered revivals, it concerns me just a tad.
As sapients capable of abstract thought (see Doestoevsky and Vonnegut) and imaginative enough to compose melodies (plug in Devo and find out for yourself), it's not too much of a stretch to consider our race as innovative enough to plan a candlelit dinner for a crush or to set our alarm clocks early enough to watch the sun rise with our better halves. Remember, this is where free agency is a good thing. You CAN create the lifestyle you choose. It's completely up to you. It's not determined by what anyone else says.
So disregard the ecclesiastical skeptics and J-Lo movies for once, and adopt the Amelies and the Princess Brides.
You won't regret it.
And neither will he and or she.
(A dictum routinely mentioned by your average well-meaning, but utterly pedestrian Gospel Doctrine teacher. You know, the same type who's never understood the importance of sarcasm or gelato.)
Of all the tall tales I've ever heard in my life-which is a substantial number since I come from a long line of spooked prospectors, toothless hobos and tittle-tattle relief society members-this cock-and-bull yarn tops them all. If it was prefaced by something about the Easter Bunny, Saint Nick and affordable health care, I might've let it fly, but since it was preached in a manner not so different from those fiery, sweaty religious sermons delivered at spirited tent-covered revivals, it concerns me just a tad.
As sapients capable of abstract thought (see Doestoevsky and Vonnegut) and imaginative enough to compose melodies (plug in Devo and find out for yourself), it's not too much of a stretch to consider our race as innovative enough to plan a candlelit dinner for a crush or to set our alarm clocks early enough to watch the sun rise with our better halves. Remember, this is where free agency is a good thing. You CAN create the lifestyle you choose. It's completely up to you. It's not determined by what anyone else says.
So disregard the ecclesiastical skeptics and J-Lo movies for once, and adopt the Amelies and the Princess Brides.
You won't regret it.
And neither will he and or she.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Power? Yes Please
Hey kids. Welcome back! I am thrilled at the responses I received to my last posting. Thanks for all your feedback! Although I didn’t as for sympathy- it was nice to know I’m not alone.
This winter I was living in UT and loving the snow. One not snowy, extra cold day I got in my car to go home but my car wouldn’t move. It was the weirdest thing. It would start but not go into gear and therefore wouldn’t move. It would get close to drive but it wouldn’t really leave park or neutral. I panicked. I was freezing and it was getting dark. I tried everything I could think of, I did what I would normally do several times- still no change. I called my dad—not home. Called my brother—he had no idea. Luckily I got a guy on the phone at Ken Garff Honda. He talked me through popping the plastic cover off the gear shift and then pressing a key in this little spot. . . yeah, I have no idea what I did. But it worked.
I’d like to pretend like this little, unfortunately true, analogy is like the Power of Christ. The Power that Paul talks about in his letter to Timothy that I mentioned in my previous blog. In life I usually “go through the motions” to get where I think I should be heading. Sometimes things don’t go as planned. Whether it’s the “this isn’t my plan” moment or for some other reason—“point A to point B” gets delayed, post-phoned, rain-checked or bypassed. With the car it was some sort of anti-theft mechanism, in life it’s a myriad of possibilities. But the similarity in this lame analogy and life is that we have help. Even if the usual resources are unavailable or unhelpful there is one thing that is fail-safe; that is the Atonement of Jesus Christ. And with this gift, we have power.
I agree with Mike’s comment that he posted. He said that power is agency and initiative. We are empowered through the Atonement. According to our faith in Christ, and acting in faith, enables us to draw upon the power of Atonement.
I think the problem is that as guilt-stricken LDS folk we worry that we aren’t doing enough, or doing the right things. Chad mentioned in this in his post about worrying if he wasn’t proactive enough causing him to miss opportunities. I think there has to be some sort of balance in our lives to know when we are doing well. It may not be as much or as little as the person next to you in Sunday school, but somewhere there has to be balance. I think Mike and Ashley hit it on the button when they both talked about having comfort instead of fear from the spirit when you are doing the things you are supposed to be doing. And yes, “hit it on the button” is a phrase that my grandmother uses.
I hope this adds to the discussion we’ve been having. I feel really preachy- I do apologize for that. You can tell me to get off my soap box and I’ll abandon my series of power, love and sound mind. Same bat time, same bat channel—keep the comments coming. Goodnight kids.
This winter I was living in UT and loving the snow. One not snowy, extra cold day I got in my car to go home but my car wouldn’t move. It was the weirdest thing. It would start but not go into gear and therefore wouldn’t move. It would get close to drive but it wouldn’t really leave park or neutral. I panicked. I was freezing and it was getting dark. I tried everything I could think of, I did what I would normally do several times- still no change. I called my dad—not home. Called my brother—he had no idea. Luckily I got a guy on the phone at Ken Garff Honda. He talked me through popping the plastic cover off the gear shift and then pressing a key in this little spot. . . yeah, I have no idea what I did. But it worked.
I’d like to pretend like this little, unfortunately true, analogy is like the Power of Christ. The Power that Paul talks about in his letter to Timothy that I mentioned in my previous blog. In life I usually “go through the motions” to get where I think I should be heading. Sometimes things don’t go as planned. Whether it’s the “this isn’t my plan” moment or for some other reason—“point A to point B” gets delayed, post-phoned, rain-checked or bypassed. With the car it was some sort of anti-theft mechanism, in life it’s a myriad of possibilities. But the similarity in this lame analogy and life is that we have help. Even if the usual resources are unavailable or unhelpful there is one thing that is fail-safe; that is the Atonement of Jesus Christ. And with this gift, we have power.
I agree with Mike’s comment that he posted. He said that power is agency and initiative. We are empowered through the Atonement. According to our faith in Christ, and acting in faith, enables us to draw upon the power of Atonement.
I think the problem is that as guilt-stricken LDS folk we worry that we aren’t doing enough, or doing the right things. Chad mentioned in this in his post about worrying if he wasn’t proactive enough causing him to miss opportunities. I think there has to be some sort of balance in our lives to know when we are doing well. It may not be as much or as little as the person next to you in Sunday school, but somewhere there has to be balance. I think Mike and Ashley hit it on the button when they both talked about having comfort instead of fear from the spirit when you are doing the things you are supposed to be doing. And yes, “hit it on the button” is a phrase that my grandmother uses.
I hope this adds to the discussion we’ve been having. I feel really preachy- I do apologize for that. You can tell me to get off my soap box and I’ll abandon my series of power, love and sound mind. Same bat time, same bat channel—keep the comments coming. Goodnight kids.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
The Key to Happiness
Are you happy? On the surface, particularly in social situations, the answer should be yes. Recently, I began a new job and was feeling crushed by an intense graduate school program (night classes), family issues and the truth be told, I wasn't anywhere near happiness because of all the baggage I had to carry. As though they could sense my inner turmoil, this question seemed to be the only thing my friends and family would ever ask me, maybe as an attempt to inject the desire to evaluate and do a course correction to increase my happiness level.
Last week I visited my 92-year-old aunt. She has been blessed with a quick-wit and great charisma. With her, I've shared many wonderful memories, however it has been challenging to watch her grow old. She struggles to hear and finding words is now very difficult for her. Recent visits I've made out of duty, to brighten her day with my presence. However, with this self-righteous attitude, I often dreaded the visits, having to shout to be heard, loosing patience when I had to repeat myself, and straining to understand what she was trying to say when she couldn't find the words. The point? My bad attitude added to my unhappiness.
Now for the redeeming part of my story. My visit last week was different because I arrived with a much different attitude. For the first time in a while, I felt blessed to be in my aunt's presence and excited to be there. Our conversation was much more fulfilling because I wanted to be there with her, to learn from her, to understand her, and to appreciate her for who she is. This simple realization (that my attitude determines my happiness level) has made all the difference in being happy. That is the key.
Last week I visited my 92-year-old aunt. She has been blessed with a quick-wit and great charisma. With her, I've shared many wonderful memories, however it has been challenging to watch her grow old. She struggles to hear and finding words is now very difficult for her. Recent visits I've made out of duty, to brighten her day with my presence. However, with this self-righteous attitude, I often dreaded the visits, having to shout to be heard, loosing patience when I had to repeat myself, and straining to understand what she was trying to say when she couldn't find the words. The point? My bad attitude added to my unhappiness.
Now for the redeeming part of my story. My visit last week was different because I arrived with a much different attitude. For the first time in a while, I felt blessed to be in my aunt's presence and excited to be there. Our conversation was much more fulfilling because I wanted to be there with her, to learn from her, to understand her, and to appreciate her for who she is. This simple realization (that my attitude determines my happiness level) has made all the difference in being happy. That is the key.
The Kids Aren't Alright
This post is a bit late. Sorry about that. I know that you, the reader, have been chomping at the bit waiting for it and that there is nothing else on your agenda this weekend, nor are there are any other social networking or celebrity gossip sites you regularly visit on the Internet.
(Insert winking smiley here.)
I rode one of the greatest roller coasters ever last night: Ghost Rider at Knott's Berry Farm in Buena Park. It's a classic old school wooden coaster with lots of ups and downs, hairpin turns, and every other smile-inducing ingredient that makes spending half of your weekly paycheck for a few rides ... worth it. And as I was getting whipped around the edges, feeling the cool evening air in my hair and up my crotch, I had an epiphany. Of course it wasn't anything as drastic as my life flashing before my eyes or a revelation about how to stop the war or the nobleness of convincing Nicole Richie to buy a Big Mac, but it was more about how facing the unknown, with a smile on our faces, makes all the difference.
And not only because a camera is taking our picture at the bottom of the steep drop.
Life throws us plenty of intense curves, so it's important to be ready for them, even if we can't see them coming. And it's not as difficult as we think to prepare. Obviously this doesn't mean that we start mainlining scorpion venom or cutting the brakes on our mountain bikes before racing down the gnarly montainside, but I'm really just suggesting the novel idea of being open-minded toward whatever ends up on our plate.
So if you're not married, not working in your favorite industry, or not where you think you should be, don't worry ... there's still a bunch of unseen, radical drops and turns still to come ahead on the tracks.
Just don't barf prematurely.
(Insert winking smiley here.)
I rode one of the greatest roller coasters ever last night: Ghost Rider at Knott's Berry Farm in Buena Park. It's a classic old school wooden coaster with lots of ups and downs, hairpin turns, and every other smile-inducing ingredient that makes spending half of your weekly paycheck for a few rides ... worth it. And as I was getting whipped around the edges, feeling the cool evening air in my hair and up my crotch, I had an epiphany. Of course it wasn't anything as drastic as my life flashing before my eyes or a revelation about how to stop the war or the nobleness of convincing Nicole Richie to buy a Big Mac, but it was more about how facing the unknown, with a smile on our faces, makes all the difference.
And not only because a camera is taking our picture at the bottom of the steep drop.
Life throws us plenty of intense curves, so it's important to be ready for them, even if we can't see them coming. And it's not as difficult as we think to prepare. Obviously this doesn't mean that we start mainlining scorpion venom or cutting the brakes on our mountain bikes before racing down the gnarly montainside, but I'm really just suggesting the novel idea of being open-minded toward whatever ends up on our plate.
So if you're not married, not working in your favorite industry, or not where you think you should be, don't worry ... there's still a bunch of unseen, radical drops and turns still to come ahead on the tracks.
Just don't barf prematurely.
Friday, August 17, 2007
WARNING: This blog is about to become very personal, very raw and very real. You may not want to continue reading.
Thursday morning I found myself in pajamas, sitting on the curb at 2 a.m. with a tear-streaked face, leaving a rambling message on an old boyfriend’s answering machine. How pathetic right? Let me explain. (Although the explanation won’t make it any less pathetic.)
Let’s rewind to earlier that night. One of my best friends called to tell me that she was getting married- it was exciting talking girlie talk (rings, asking dad for permission, wedding dates etc.) I could not be happier for her!! Much later that night, when fluffy white sheep were supposed to be bounding over my pillow, my mind was buzzing and the sheep were MIA. I am always really happy when my close friends get married but I also get a little sad because I know that my relationship with them will never be the same. That isn’t new or surprising. But then a relatively new feeling entered my heart, consumed my brain and started the water works. This new feeling: loneliness. I am now the last of my high school (and most of my college) friends to be married. Finding a helpmate and holding babies is something that I’ve seen them all experience, and now I want it too. I let this loneliness consume me and I’m still not really sure how I ended up on the curb dialing my last heartbreak. Down right pathetic!
I hope that people who know me are a little surprised by this behavior. (guerrilla won't be, she's seen the worst) I’m generally a fun-loving, independent person who thoroughly enjoys all the perks of being single. I wouldn’t classify myself as bitter or desperate. But as strong as I think I am, I still experience Thursday mornings with tears and without sheep.
I don’t tell you this for your sympathy, I tell you this because I know that I am not alone in my loneliness. So maybe I can help one of you. Maybe you’ll remember this blog in your moment of loneliness (instead of making a phone call at 2am that you will assuredly regret later.)
However, what I call loneliness is more acutely diagnosed as fear.
Fear. I’m afraid that God’s plan for me does not resemble the plan that I have for myself. This is a reoccurring fear for me- although it often takes different shapes. Right now my “this isn’t my plan” fear focuses on marriage, i.e. instead of the fun, hunky helpmate I’ll get the boring, homely, short or socially awkward one. The “this isn’t my plan” fear can be applied with jobs, where you live, your health etc. You’re chuckling- you know it too!
Fear is the opposite of faith. The Children of Israel let the “this isn’t my plan” fear keep them from the Promised Land for 40years. “This isn’t my plan” faithlessness even caused the prophet Lehi to complain in their wilderness adventure. We are so not alone in our fears! The Lord knew that we would feel this way and he has given us the tools to overcome it.
On the brink of apostasy, Paul wrote to Timothy to reassure him and the persecuted saints by saying, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.” (2Timothy 1:7) Like Timothy, this advice has become my remedy for fear, loneliness and “this isn’t my plan” worries.
This is also where this blog gets interactive: How do power, love and a sound mind help you overcome your fear? Why those 3 things? I have some ideas that I will share in my next few blogs, but I want to hear your ideas! Please post comments or email us at trenchsurvial@gmail.com
Let’s rewind to earlier that night. One of my best friends called to tell me that she was getting married- it was exciting talking girlie talk (rings, asking dad for permission, wedding dates etc.) I could not be happier for her!! Much later that night, when fluffy white sheep were supposed to be bounding over my pillow, my mind was buzzing and the sheep were MIA. I am always really happy when my close friends get married but I also get a little sad because I know that my relationship with them will never be the same. That isn’t new or surprising. But then a relatively new feeling entered my heart, consumed my brain and started the water works. This new feeling: loneliness. I am now the last of my high school (and most of my college) friends to be married. Finding a helpmate and holding babies is something that I’ve seen them all experience, and now I want it too. I let this loneliness consume me and I’m still not really sure how I ended up on the curb dialing my last heartbreak. Down right pathetic!
I hope that people who know me are a little surprised by this behavior. (guerrilla won't be, she's seen the worst) I’m generally a fun-loving, independent person who thoroughly enjoys all the perks of being single. I wouldn’t classify myself as bitter or desperate. But as strong as I think I am, I still experience Thursday mornings with tears and without sheep.
I don’t tell you this for your sympathy, I tell you this because I know that I am not alone in my loneliness. So maybe I can help one of you. Maybe you’ll remember this blog in your moment of loneliness (instead of making a phone call at 2am that you will assuredly regret later.)
However, what I call loneliness is more acutely diagnosed as fear.
Fear. I’m afraid that God’s plan for me does not resemble the plan that I have for myself. This is a reoccurring fear for me- although it often takes different shapes. Right now my “this isn’t my plan” fear focuses on marriage, i.e. instead of the fun, hunky helpmate I’ll get the boring, homely, short or socially awkward one. The “this isn’t my plan” fear can be applied with jobs, where you live, your health etc. You’re chuckling- you know it too!
Fear is the opposite of faith. The Children of Israel let the “this isn’t my plan” fear keep them from the Promised Land for 40years. “This isn’t my plan” faithlessness even caused the prophet Lehi to complain in their wilderness adventure. We are so not alone in our fears! The Lord knew that we would feel this way and he has given us the tools to overcome it.
On the brink of apostasy, Paul wrote to Timothy to reassure him and the persecuted saints by saying, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.” (2Timothy 1:7) Like Timothy, this advice has become my remedy for fear, loneliness and “this isn’t my plan” worries.
This is also where this blog gets interactive: How do power, love and a sound mind help you overcome your fear? Why those 3 things? I have some ideas that I will share in my next few blogs, but I want to hear your ideas! Please post comments or email us at trenchsurvial@gmail.com
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Not so New Year's Resolution
Ok, I'll admit it. I've been thinking. It's something I usually try to avoid. But lately I've been thinking alot about the new beginnings Brother Love wrote about a few posts ago. Now, this past New Year, all my friends scoffed and laughed at the idea of making New Year's resolutions. They claimed that making them was a joke and refused to do so. Now, usually I'm the leader of the pack when it comes to stuff like this. I'm always trying to convince at least one of my friends to toss reason aside and rebel against something, anything; for some reason it doesn't suck so bad if I have a buddy falling down the rabbit hole with me. But this year was different for me. I graduated college last year, and I was starting a new job; one that meant more money than I'd ever made before. Maybe it was time to start trying to pay off all the debt I'd been so happily accruing over the last few years. I also made a vow to attend the temple more, and be more spiritual, because you HAVE to make that one, you feel guilty if you don't. I wish I were the one that was spiritual enough that I didn't HAVE to make that one. And then there were a few little side resolutions...too small and insignificant to even remember really. So anyway, I mapped out a little plan and wrote all about it in my journal, all determined...and then eventually I shoved it in the back of a drawer somewhere and within a week I'd totally forgotten of this pact I'd made with myself and the New Year. Until now.
Right now I'm in the process of looking for a new job, see. Which is another new beginning for me. A new opportunity to set right the wrong's of the year. So, while trying to revive yet another resolution-being at the gym more, I started thinking. I decided it was time to do an eval on the past 8 months, and see how well I've been doing on these resolutions of mine. Now, I know that technically, this should have happened back in June, it being the 6 month mark and all. So the eval is a little late (which is so me), but it's better now than never, right??
So in my eval...I decided that out of Faith, Hope, and Charity- my "charity" was nonexistant pretty much. This is (of course) due to the fact that I'm single, and everything I do is for myself. So I've decided to step it up. I'm going to do an act of charity this week; not including letting someone in my lane, or putting my roommates clean clothes on her bed so I can use the dryer. No no, I am going to go out of my way and commit a charitable act for someone. I am going to be more servicable! This week anyway. I have to be realistic with this new goal I'm setting.
So, the point of this whole story? I think you should do it too, my dear friend/reader. Maybe you actually did the eval back in June; I wouldn't be surprised to find out I'm the only one that missed that memo. But if you didn't; if you're a slacker like me- maybe it's time for you to look back and see how you're doing. Where are you on your goals for this year? Are you meeting your goals? Are you becoming the person that you wanted to be back then? Maybe you already met your goals...if so, good job. Over achiever. Or maybe it's time to make a half year res, a little late of course. So you didn't make any of your goals yet; make new ones. Finish out the year strong ya'll! We still have time to make a difference this year! You'll feel better if you do it.. :)
G
Right now I'm in the process of looking for a new job, see. Which is another new beginning for me. A new opportunity to set right the wrong's of the year. So, while trying to revive yet another resolution-being at the gym more, I started thinking. I decided it was time to do an eval on the past 8 months, and see how well I've been doing on these resolutions of mine. Now, I know that technically, this should have happened back in June, it being the 6 month mark and all. So the eval is a little late (which is so me), but it's better now than never, right??
So in my eval...I decided that out of Faith, Hope, and Charity- my "charity" was nonexistant pretty much. This is (of course) due to the fact that I'm single, and everything I do is for myself. So I've decided to step it up. I'm going to do an act of charity this week; not including letting someone in my lane, or putting my roommates clean clothes on her bed so I can use the dryer. No no, I am going to go out of my way and commit a charitable act for someone. I am going to be more servicable! This week anyway. I have to be realistic with this new goal I'm setting.
So, the point of this whole story? I think you should do it too, my dear friend/reader. Maybe you actually did the eval back in June; I wouldn't be surprised to find out I'm the only one that missed that memo. But if you didn't; if you're a slacker like me- maybe it's time for you to look back and see how you're doing. Where are you on your goals for this year? Are you meeting your goals? Are you becoming the person that you wanted to be back then? Maybe you already met your goals...if so, good job. Over achiever. Or maybe it's time to make a half year res, a little late of course. So you didn't make any of your goals yet; make new ones. Finish out the year strong ya'll! We still have time to make a difference this year! You'll feel better if you do it.. :)
G
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
So You Think You Can't Dance
Hey there.
Welcome, once again, to the blog geared specifically for you, the Latter-Day Saint single. You should feel lucky that your computer screen isn't a two-way mirror. Or else you'd hear Avril Lavigne singing and see the reality series, "So You Think You Can Dance" playing in the background.
And I would lose all credibility as a male and be super embarrassed.
(The things girls can talk guys into watching.)
But as I cringe while watching this travesty of a television program, wishing I was observing something a bit more highbrow--like Baywatch--I realize that there's a lesson to be learned. And it's not about how to properly frost hair tips or how to draw out S's in every word, but really, the lesson is more about preparation and performance when it counts the most. Granted, we don't always have a snarky mullet-sporting Brit criticizing our every move or spandex that's been pulled up to our nipples that is four sizes too small, but we do have to deal with opposition and obstacles. And how we react to these trials and what we learn from them will largely determine where we end up in life.
Thomas Edison once said that "fortune favors the prepared mind." And he's absolutely right. The more we learn, the more we experience ... the better off we'll be. As in better spouses. Better neighbors. More productive members of society. Possible candidates for Jeopardy. Respectable things like that. Because, in all honesty, geniuses are rare in life. As difficult as that is to swallow, we just have to accept it. But it's fine, 'cause underdog stories are more exciting anyway. Not "talking dog" stories mind you, but underdog. There's a difference. Believe me. There's nothing cute about a courageous dog and a cynical cat, even if they do have celebrity voices. So when the average guy or girl saves the day or solves the problem, it makes for a greater story.
So what's the point of this micro-mini sermon? I have no idea. Really, I don't. I've heard too many lame teeny-bopper songs to think properly. But I will say that just like the eager tweens on the show who are hanging on every word of the judge, waiting for their results, the day will come when we'll be in the same position, hoping we passed the test.
And I'm just hoping that Avril Lavigne isn't playing on the loudspeakers.
Welcome, once again, to the blog geared specifically for you, the Latter-Day Saint single. You should feel lucky that your computer screen isn't a two-way mirror. Or else you'd hear Avril Lavigne singing and see the reality series, "So You Think You Can Dance" playing in the background.
And I would lose all credibility as a male and be super embarrassed.
(The things girls can talk guys into watching.)
But as I cringe while watching this travesty of a television program, wishing I was observing something a bit more highbrow--like Baywatch--I realize that there's a lesson to be learned. And it's not about how to properly frost hair tips or how to draw out S's in every word, but really, the lesson is more about preparation and performance when it counts the most. Granted, we don't always have a snarky mullet-sporting Brit criticizing our every move or spandex that's been pulled up to our nipples that is four sizes too small, but we do have to deal with opposition and obstacles. And how we react to these trials and what we learn from them will largely determine where we end up in life.
Thomas Edison once said that "fortune favors the prepared mind." And he's absolutely right. The more we learn, the more we experience ... the better off we'll be. As in better spouses. Better neighbors. More productive members of society. Possible candidates for Jeopardy. Respectable things like that. Because, in all honesty, geniuses are rare in life. As difficult as that is to swallow, we just have to accept it. But it's fine, 'cause underdog stories are more exciting anyway. Not "talking dog" stories mind you, but underdog. There's a difference. Believe me. There's nothing cute about a courageous dog and a cynical cat, even if they do have celebrity voices. So when the average guy or girl saves the day or solves the problem, it makes for a greater story.
So what's the point of this micro-mini sermon? I have no idea. Really, I don't. I've heard too many lame teeny-bopper songs to think properly. But I will say that just like the eager tweens on the show who are hanging on every word of the judge, waiting for their results, the day will come when we'll be in the same position, hoping we passed the test.
And I'm just hoping that Avril Lavigne isn't playing on the loudspeakers.
Scout's Post 8/14/07
Hey blogger friends. . . sorry for the delay! I wanted to get permission from the creative genius behind this parody. I almost wet my pants when i read this. It is a tune we all wish we could forget and an all-familiar story. Thanks to Mikey Crabb!! Mormons are so weird!
For next time i promise i'll post some answers that i've received recently. i hope it can help you too! Much love, scout
One Week (My Mormon Engagement)
Parody of One Week by Barenaked Ladies
It's been 1 week since she said to me
"You can take me to dinner and a movie"
5 Days since I laughed and joked saying
"Isn't it kinda soon to meet your folks"
3 days since the interview
The bishop took us in and told us what should we do
Yesterday it occurred to me that there are only 2 days til we're getting married
Holy cow what'd I get into
Didn't think it all through
Well this is nothing like I had planned
Our 2nd date going great until she took me to the place
Where she decided it was time to buy a wedding band
Then she went looking for a white dress
I'm in a big mess
I've only known the girl a few days
She's askin if I want kids
And where we'll go live
I hope it's just a crazy girl phase
Wanna take a break but it's too late because she bought the wedding cake
It's my mistake for always fallin for a fast dame
For eternity now I can see it's gonna be just her and me
And I just realized I don't even know her last name
Well all I know is she's a Mormon with a pretty face
And what I figured out from her MySpace
She's the kind of girl that might be worth keeping
Or she could slice off my skull while I'm sleeping
I have a tendency of choosing dates casually
I have a history of dating the insane
It's been 1 week since the very night
When she told me she fell in love at first sight
5 days since she questioned me
How often I'm praying down on my knees
It's been 3 days since we set the date
I thought it was too soon while she thought it was too late
Yesterday it occurred to me that there are only 2 days til I'm getting married
Deeper in debt now is all I'm getting
For going along with a 1 week wedding
Sent the announcements via email
Because it's free mail
I bought my tux at a garage sale
We're gonna live in her mother's basement
So we won't pay rent
And get a discount on utilities
I kinda wish I had my old life
The one with no wife
This is a lesson in humility
It's a great mistake to think they're mild
When the Mormon hormones running wild
Their brains shut off and it's a different world they live in
Then pretty soon they're thinking grooms and wedding tunes
And then it's BOOM! They'll get married to anyone who'll give in
I'm feeling trapped just like that writer guy in Misery
Got the worst case of cold feet in history
I'm the kind of guy that might try to run away
Maybe I'll try to convince her that I'm gay
I have a tendency of acting impulsively
I have a history of changing my mind
It's been 1 week since I had to bail
Changed my number, my address, and my email
5 days since we had the trial
When the judge said she couldn't come within a ¼ mile
3 days since I met a girl
For eternity now I can see it's gonna be just her and me
And I just realized I don't even know her last name
It's been 1 week since I had to bail
Changed my number, my address, and my email
5 days since we had the trial
When the judge said she couldn't come within a ¼ mile
3 days since I met a girl
That helped me to forget the one that made my blood curl
Yesterday it occurred to me that we have just set a date to get married next week
For next time i promise i'll post some answers that i've received recently. i hope it can help you too! Much love, scout
One Week (My Mormon Engagement)
Parody of One Week by Barenaked Ladies
It's been 1 week since she said to me
"You can take me to dinner and a movie"
5 Days since I laughed and joked saying
"Isn't it kinda soon to meet your folks"
3 days since the interview
The bishop took us in and told us what should we do
Yesterday it occurred to me that there are only 2 days til we're getting married
Holy cow what'd I get into
Didn't think it all through
Well this is nothing like I had planned
Our 2nd date going great until she took me to the place
Where she decided it was time to buy a wedding band
Then she went looking for a white dress
I'm in a big mess
I've only known the girl a few days
She's askin if I want kids
And where we'll go live
I hope it's just a crazy girl phase
Wanna take a break but it's too late because she bought the wedding cake
It's my mistake for always fallin for a fast dame
For eternity now I can see it's gonna be just her and me
And I just realized I don't even know her last name
Well all I know is she's a Mormon with a pretty face
And what I figured out from her MySpace
She's the kind of girl that might be worth keeping
Or she could slice off my skull while I'm sleeping
I have a tendency of choosing dates casually
I have a history of dating the insane
It's been 1 week since the very night
When she told me she fell in love at first sight
5 days since she questioned me
How often I'm praying down on my knees
It's been 3 days since we set the date
I thought it was too soon while she thought it was too late
Yesterday it occurred to me that there are only 2 days til I'm getting married
Deeper in debt now is all I'm getting
For going along with a 1 week wedding
Sent the announcements via email
Because it's free mail
I bought my tux at a garage sale
We're gonna live in her mother's basement
So we won't pay rent
And get a discount on utilities
I kinda wish I had my old life
The one with no wife
This is a lesson in humility
It's a great mistake to think they're mild
When the Mormon hormones running wild
Their brains shut off and it's a different world they live in
Then pretty soon they're thinking grooms and wedding tunes
And then it's BOOM! They'll get married to anyone who'll give in
I'm feeling trapped just like that writer guy in Misery
Got the worst case of cold feet in history
I'm the kind of guy that might try to run away
Maybe I'll try to convince her that I'm gay
I have a tendency of acting impulsively
I have a history of changing my mind
It's been 1 week since I had to bail
Changed my number, my address, and my email
5 days since we had the trial
When the judge said she couldn't come within a ¼ mile
3 days since I met a girl
For eternity now I can see it's gonna be just her and me
And I just realized I don't even know her last name
It's been 1 week since I had to bail
Changed my number, my address, and my email
5 days since we had the trial
When the judge said she couldn't come within a ¼ mile
3 days since I met a girl
That helped me to forget the one that made my blood curl
Yesterday it occurred to me that we have just set a date to get married next week
Monday, August 13, 2007
My life; My struggle
Guerilla's Confession: I'm strugglin. On all levels, I'm a-strugglin today.
I've been staring at this white page all day, and about to rip my hair out. The truth is, I had a blog written. It was good. But I was too scared to post it, because it was real, and it was deep. I don't know if I'm ready for the world to see my vulnerabilities...even if I am hiding behind a pseudonym. And, it's only my second post. I don't know if you, my little audience, are ready for the intensity of the Guerilla. I don't want to scare off the masses!! Ha ha- the three of us that write and read our own posts. I don't want to scare off my writing buddies just yet, even if we are the only ones that read our own posts... :)
So I chickened out and decided to write a little more light hearted (and cynical, even though I said no cynicism on the blog) and hope that one day I'll have the guts to post something profound. In the meantime- let's talk about...BBQ's and Dessert parties. We here in Salt Lake have tons of them, usually 3 or so in any given night, guaranteed at least two dessert parties on any given Sunday. They're all over the Valley, and usually it's free food and good eye candy, so why do I have so much anxiety over these events?? I'll tell you. Three solid reasons:
1)It's the same folks every time. I went to a little dessert party last night with my good friend "E", and we walked in and I knew over half the peeps. If I didn't know them, she did. If there was a random that neither of us happened to know, chances were he was new to town and another group of gigglers already had him surrounded. I live in a city with over a million people! Why do I keep running into the same singles??? And why do we all sit around and act like we haven't met before?
2)People are always so awkward at these things. I know I definitely don't help the situation. Once I was at a BBQ and the conversation was getting awkward, so I tried to help by asking, "so what do you like in a girl?" (which I've been told is the golden question), and the guy went nuts. He was like, "Are you kidding me right now? Are you serious? That's it- I'm out of here. This is a joke." I was so embarrassed. He stomped off and we haven't been the same since. His friend tried to cover for him, saying "he's just a little uspet right now", but I didn't know what to do, except turn to the next person and just act like nothing had just happened. I'm still not sure what was so offensive in that question. Just trying to make conversation! But situations like that make me paranoid to ask anything other than, "so what do you do?", which we all know and love.
3)Then there is the whole, "I met you on linkup" fiasco. This is the worst/best!! You see someone across the room that you've chatted with online but never met in real life...what do you do? What the heck do you do???? Do you pretend you don't know them? Do you make eye contact even? I swear it's a never ending battle for normalcy that we just can't seem to win. This situation will enable the "duck, avoid, and bolt" faster than any other situation I can think of, except for spotting an ex. It's a nightmare- staring inadvertently across the room for half an hour, wondering if the two of you are going to talk in real life or not. Then you get to decide if you're going to go home and admit online that you saw them in person and didn't say anything. Or, better yet, what if you decide 10 minutes after staring that you really don't want to meet this person?? And then of course they catch your eye for a second and beeline straight for you...
I feel like in order to be fair, I should give at least one reason why I keep going; why I keep getting dressed up and "making an appearance" with my roomies. It's because even though I'm awkward, I want to meet new people. We all want to meet someone new, don't we? 'Cause we're still single, and we're still hopin a little (AND, every once in awhile, I'll run into an old friend and we can catch up). We all force ourselves out there (painfully sometimes), hoping to find that "EC" everyone keeps talking about. Well- til we find em, good luck to you and yours, and let the dessert parties continue!
G
I've been staring at this white page all day, and about to rip my hair out. The truth is, I had a blog written. It was good. But I was too scared to post it, because it was real, and it was deep. I don't know if I'm ready for the world to see my vulnerabilities...even if I am hiding behind a pseudonym. And, it's only my second post. I don't know if you, my little audience, are ready for the intensity of the Guerilla. I don't want to scare off the masses!! Ha ha- the three of us that write and read our own posts. I don't want to scare off my writing buddies just yet, even if we are the only ones that read our own posts... :)
So I chickened out and decided to write a little more light hearted (and cynical, even though I said no cynicism on the blog) and hope that one day I'll have the guts to post something profound. In the meantime- let's talk about...BBQ's and Dessert parties. We here in Salt Lake have tons of them, usually 3 or so in any given night, guaranteed at least two dessert parties on any given Sunday. They're all over the Valley, and usually it's free food and good eye candy, so why do I have so much anxiety over these events?? I'll tell you. Three solid reasons:
1)It's the same folks every time. I went to a little dessert party last night with my good friend "E", and we walked in and I knew over half the peeps. If I didn't know them, she did. If there was a random that neither of us happened to know, chances were he was new to town and another group of gigglers already had him surrounded. I live in a city with over a million people! Why do I keep running into the same singles??? And why do we all sit around and act like we haven't met before?
2)People are always so awkward at these things. I know I definitely don't help the situation. Once I was at a BBQ and the conversation was getting awkward, so I tried to help by asking, "so what do you like in a girl?" (which I've been told is the golden question), and the guy went nuts. He was like, "Are you kidding me right now? Are you serious? That's it- I'm out of here. This is a joke." I was so embarrassed. He stomped off and we haven't been the same since. His friend tried to cover for him, saying "he's just a little uspet right now", but I didn't know what to do, except turn to the next person and just act like nothing had just happened. I'm still not sure what was so offensive in that question. Just trying to make conversation! But situations like that make me paranoid to ask anything other than, "so what do you do?", which we all know and love.
3)Then there is the whole, "I met you on linkup" fiasco. This is the worst/best!! You see someone across the room that you've chatted with online but never met in real life...what do you do? What the heck do you do???? Do you pretend you don't know them? Do you make eye contact even? I swear it's a never ending battle for normalcy that we just can't seem to win. This situation will enable the "duck, avoid, and bolt" faster than any other situation I can think of, except for spotting an ex. It's a nightmare- staring inadvertently across the room for half an hour, wondering if the two of you are going to talk in real life or not. Then you get to decide if you're going to go home and admit online that you saw them in person and didn't say anything. Or, better yet, what if you decide 10 minutes after staring that you really don't want to meet this person?? And then of course they catch your eye for a second and beeline straight for you...
I feel like in order to be fair, I should give at least one reason why I keep going; why I keep getting dressed up and "making an appearance" with my roomies. It's because even though I'm awkward, I want to meet new people. We all want to meet someone new, don't we? 'Cause we're still single, and we're still hopin a little (AND, every once in awhile, I'll run into an old friend and we can catch up). We all force ourselves out there (painfully sometimes), hoping to find that "EC" everyone keeps talking about. Well- til we find em, good luck to you and yours, and let the dessert parties continue!
G
It's a Man's Turn...
Hello. Thanks for taking a moment to ditch your busy day of instantmessenging and YouTubing to visit this blog. I'm guessing that ifyou're reading this, you're Mormon and single. Or else super bored at work and pretending to fill out last week's time card while surfing the Net. At any rate, welcome to the latest Mormon blog about life as a single person in the church.The idea behind this blog isn't to re-create the corniness of E.F.Y.or to wax on and on about "menaces to society." Rather, it's just an informal forum to share experiences and thoughts about being single and Mormon. So if you really want to discuss Afterglow's latest hit,you may be in the wrong place. But no offense ... there's probably a blog out there for that. Our generation is a peculiar-and particular-people. From the world's perspective, our balance is skewed: Too much ice cream and not enough Levi-lovin'. But that's okay. We want it like that. Holding higher values than what society dictates isn't always the easiest thing to do, nor is it the most popular or attractive. But it sets us apart from the flock. And helps us live longer. And keeps us from embarrassing after-hour visits to the doctor.
Last week Elder Faust passed away and we lost a great leader and spiritual giant. He delivered a riveting C.E.S. fireside last year and spoke about "new beginnings." These "beginnings," he said, happen all the time. They come in the form of new jobs, graduation from school, a different relationship, or even a another day. And through these new beginnings, we constantly have new chances and new moments to turn everything around. As simple as that last statement is, it's still really profound. We DO have a choice in what we do, in how we react to what life throws us, and most importantly ... what our attitude is. So, I guess what I'm saying is: Embrace your uniqueness and cherish the opportunity to be different in these new beginnings, wherever they lie. But don't feel like you have to be "lame different" as in listening to the Mormon Rap or wearing socks with sandals, but feel free to act more in a "cool different" sort of way, like Holden Caulfield with his mouth washed out with soap.
Last week Elder Faust passed away and we lost a great leader and spiritual giant. He delivered a riveting C.E.S. fireside last year and spoke about "new beginnings." These "beginnings," he said, happen all the time. They come in the form of new jobs, graduation from school, a different relationship, or even a another day. And through these new beginnings, we constantly have new chances and new moments to turn everything around. As simple as that last statement is, it's still really profound. We DO have a choice in what we do, in how we react to what life throws us, and most importantly ... what our attitude is. So, I guess what I'm saying is: Embrace your uniqueness and cherish the opportunity to be different in these new beginnings, wherever they lie. But don't feel like you have to be "lame different" as in listening to the Mormon Rap or wearing socks with sandals, but feel free to act more in a "cool different" sort of way, like Holden Caulfield with his mouth washed out with soap.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
About Scout:
Why blog? I blog because my ward has a dating committee. Its true- our bishop is innovating ways to hookup his flock. Let me explain:
Tonight was a ward dating activity where people got set up with other singles in the area for a digital scavenger hunt. I got lucky, some were not as fortunate. It soon became a pastime to “people watch” the pain-stricken daters. The signs were easy to spot: talking to everyone except your date, text messaging like crazy, each party keeping their distance, sour faces and hand shakes. My heart went out to these stalwart daters. (Obviously not enough heart went out to not watch them and make fun of them.) We have all been ½ of the awkward couple. As we watched them watch their watches, I thought “whew, I’m glad that’s not me this time.” I say “this time” because I know that it will eventually be my turn (and I’m sure you’ll hear about it) to uncomfortably try to pass the evening on an awkward date. This is why I blog. We blog from the trenches.
Dating is not the only battle fought from the trenches of being young-ish and single. There are a myriad of choices to make at this place in our lives. Where to work, what to do, where to live, who to date, should I go back to school, who to hang with, what to spend and what to save, how to avoid debt . . . blah blah blah- you know it because you live it! So many things we are trying to accomplish—but some things don’t always work out as planned. This is why I blog. We blog to form a network of strength and encouragement as we go through this adventure together.
This is a spot to share our thoughts, stories, questions and insight. You email us yours and we’ll plagiarize it. Just kidding! We’ll post it and respond to it trenchsurvival@gmail.com.
Tonight was a ward dating activity where people got set up with other singles in the area for a digital scavenger hunt. I got lucky, some were not as fortunate. It soon became a pastime to “people watch” the pain-stricken daters. The signs were easy to spot: talking to everyone except your date, text messaging like crazy, each party keeping their distance, sour faces and hand shakes. My heart went out to these stalwart daters. (Obviously not enough heart went out to not watch them and make fun of them.) We have all been ½ of the awkward couple. As we watched them watch their watches, I thought “whew, I’m glad that’s not me this time.” I say “this time” because I know that it will eventually be my turn (and I’m sure you’ll hear about it) to uncomfortably try to pass the evening on an awkward date. This is why I blog. We blog from the trenches.
Dating is not the only battle fought from the trenches of being young-ish and single. There are a myriad of choices to make at this place in our lives. Where to work, what to do, where to live, who to date, should I go back to school, who to hang with, what to spend and what to save, how to avoid debt . . . blah blah blah- you know it because you live it! So many things we are trying to accomplish—but some things don’t always work out as planned. This is why I blog. We blog to form a network of strength and encouragement as we go through this adventure together.
This is a spot to share our thoughts, stories, questions and insight. You email us yours and we’ll plagiarize it. Just kidding! We’ll post it and respond to it trenchsurvival@gmail.com.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
And it begins..
I must admit, it's a little intimidating to write the very first entry to this very new, and very exciting blog. I have been dreaming and scheming of this blog for months...and now that it's finally in fruition, all I can tell you is that I want this entry to be so explosive! THIS IS the first one; I want it to captivate all of my readers; to engross, to mesmerize. I want you, my reader, to be addicted; coming back day after endless day to read my engaging and witty masterpieces. (Isn't there some kind of prestigious award for great bloggers?) But where do I begin? I have so many things to tell you about being single and being LDS and the struggles and the triumphs of my life. If you're reading this blog, chances are, you already know what I'm talking about. You're (hopefully) single too, and struggling along, working hard to make things happen and trying so hard to find that peace and happiness and balance in your life. If you're not single, then don't tell anyone that you've found a guilty pleasure within my site, and I'll be sure to keep it a secret as well. Now, welcome to my blog.
Hi- you can call me "the Guerilla", or "G" for short. It's not necessarily a name I enjoy- but it is something that was born out of necessity. Now before you get confused, let me explain. I am technically known as a 'veteran guerilla' of this single warfare...I am a single, educated, 29 year old (gasp!) woman that lives in Salt Lake City, UT...and I'm LDS...and I've never been married. And I don't have kids. Which means I've been trudging through these gutters of single-dom for some time now. Believe it or not, there's nothing wrong with me, despite what others may say, just because I haven't found my "EC" (eternal companion) yet. Anyway, to keep things simple, I'm "the Guerilla". No need for the 'veteran' part- (no need to remind you that I'm old) you get the drift.
You will see that I'm not the only writer on this blog. Turns out, my dear, dear, sweet beautiful friend that I love so much (who also has amazing insight) is also writing on this blog. Turns out, while she is not as 'veteran' as I am, she has been trudging these muddy trenches forever too...struggling to understand this life and all of it's mysteries as well. Her name is "Scout". I'll let her introduce herself more fully on her turn to write. She writes a day, and I write a day, and occasionally a "guest mercenary" will write a day, and hopefully some hot, witty hunk will eventually write a day; and we will do our best to entertain, and edify (can we? We don't know), and offer some kind of something to you, our readers. Again, welcome to our blog.
Another thing- we love to get emails. We thrive on emails. Please feel free to write us with something that you want us to think about and possibly talk about on our blog. Or tell us that you think we're fabulous. Or, tell us that we're not. Or tell us a dating horror story- trust me we have tons of them and we will be sharing them throughout the entries. We don't care. Just write us and talk to us, so we can keep our blog a huffin' and a puffin' along. If it's good stuff, we'll include it on the page. The email address is trenchsurvival@gmail.com. We welcome your thoughts.
And my last, quick thought for today: May the Faust family know that our thoughts and prayers are with them at this time. WE LOVE PRESIDENT FAUST, and will miss him much. His words of inspiration have uplifted us and edified us many, many times throughout the years, and we know that his testimony was true and faithful and strong. He was a great teacher and a great example; and he is on our minds and always in our hearts. Again, we just want his family to know that we love him dearly.
Let the blogging begin!!
G
Hi- you can call me "the Guerilla", or "G" for short. It's not necessarily a name I enjoy- but it is something that was born out of necessity. Now before you get confused, let me explain. I am technically known as a 'veteran guerilla' of this single warfare...I am a single, educated, 29 year old (gasp!) woman that lives in Salt Lake City, UT...and I'm LDS...and I've never been married. And I don't have kids. Which means I've been trudging through these gutters of single-dom for some time now. Believe it or not, there's nothing wrong with me, despite what others may say, just because I haven't found my "EC" (eternal companion) yet. Anyway, to keep things simple, I'm "the Guerilla". No need for the 'veteran' part- (no need to remind you that I'm old) you get the drift.
You will see that I'm not the only writer on this blog. Turns out, my dear, dear, sweet beautiful friend that I love so much (who also has amazing insight) is also writing on this blog. Turns out, while she is not as 'veteran' as I am, she has been trudging these muddy trenches forever too...struggling to understand this life and all of it's mysteries as well. Her name is "Scout". I'll let her introduce herself more fully on her turn to write. She writes a day, and I write a day, and occasionally a "guest mercenary" will write a day, and hopefully some hot, witty hunk will eventually write a day; and we will do our best to entertain, and edify (can we? We don't know), and offer some kind of something to you, our readers. Again, welcome to our blog.
Another thing- we love to get emails. We thrive on emails. Please feel free to write us with something that you want us to think about and possibly talk about on our blog. Or tell us that you think we're fabulous. Or, tell us that we're not. Or tell us a dating horror story- trust me we have tons of them and we will be sharing them throughout the entries. We don't care. Just write us and talk to us, so we can keep our blog a huffin' and a puffin' along. If it's good stuff, we'll include it on the page. The email address is trenchsurvival@gmail.com. We welcome your thoughts.
And my last, quick thought for today: May the Faust family know that our thoughts and prayers are with them at this time. WE LOVE PRESIDENT FAUST, and will miss him much. His words of inspiration have uplifted us and edified us many, many times throughout the years, and we know that his testimony was true and faithful and strong. He was a great teacher and a great example; and he is on our minds and always in our hearts. Again, we just want his family to know that we love him dearly.
Let the blogging begin!!
G
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